The Simpson Movie Trailer

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Kalau Banci Jadi Pramugari

SFX: suara "bing" di cabin pesawat

male sedikit ke female2an VO:
Ledis en jentelmen, bekudis tempel semen, sesuai peraturan penerbangan,
jadi eike mawar kasi liat cara pake itu sabuk yang ada di pinggang yey,
baju buat mengapung-apung, dan masker oksigen dikala napas sesek.
biar yey nantinya bisa selamet, coba sini diliat dulu cara pasang itu
sabuk
yang melilit di pinggang yey, cara ngunci biar gak gampang lepas,
ngencengin, dan ngelepasinnya.
baju ngapung ada di bawah kursi yang yey dudukin, jangan dipake kecuali
nanti mas kapiten ngajak berenang bareng.

eit jangan lupa, itu barang jangan yey pindah-pindahin yaa, apalagi
dibawa
pulang
buat pajangan salon.
yang ketauan sama eike, bakalan ditabok kanan kiri
atas bawah depan, belakang deh ih...
cara make'nya, itu baju dikalungin di leher yey, ati ati kekencengan
tar gak bisa napas. makanya kudu ati-ati deh yah.
biar bisa ngapung, yey tarik itu pencetan warna merah delima,

atau yey tiup itu pipa nya. kalo nanti keluar lewat jendela darurat,
itu baju apung dikembangin pas di luar aja deh, nanti mampet di
jendela karena gak muat.
…aihh.. ampe kritiing tangan eike narikin pencetannya… keras
amirr..
gimana sih nih..
eh, asal yey semua pada tau ya, ini pesawat ada dua pintu darurat di
depan,
ada dua di belakang, dan ada dua lagi jendela darurat di tengah-tengah.
jadi
keluarnya jangan rebutan ya.
kalo nanti tiba-tiba napas sesek dan bukan karena sabuk yang di
pinggang
kekencengan

bukan pula karena salah masang pelampung,

masker oksigen bakalan nongol dari atas kepala yey, tarik aje dah trus
napas
kayak biasa.
kalo ada anak kecil, yey yey yang ude tuwir mesti nolongin anaknya dulu
baru yey pake sendiri.

kartu gambar biar selamet ada di kantong kursi di depan yey duduk,
silakan dibaca dan dihayati dengan seksama yaaah..


endang sukamti cintya lamusu, terimakasi God blesss yuuu... yiuuukkk..

The Blonde Got mail

A man was in his front yard mowing grass when his attractive blond female neighbor came out of the house and went straight to the mailbox. She opened it then slammed it shut and stormed back into the house. A little later she came out of her house again, went to the mailbox and again opened it, and slammed it shut again. Angrily, back into the house she went.

As the man was getting ready to edge the lawn, she came out again, marched to the mailbox, opened it and then slammed it closed harder than ever.

Puzzled by her actions the man asked her, “Is something wrong?”

To which she replied, “There certainly is!”

My stupid computer keeps saying, “You’ve got mail!”

Hammerheads

Two blondes are working on a house. One of them, who’s nailing down siding, has been reaching into her pouch, pulling out a nail, and either tossing it over her shoulder or nailing it in. The second blonde, figuring this was worth looking into, asks, "Hey—how come you’re throwing half the nails over your shoulder?"
The first blonde explains, "If I pull a nail out of my pouch and it’s pointed toward me, I throw it away because it’s defective. If it’s pointed toward the house, then I nail it in."
"You moron!" the second blonde yells. "The nails pointed toward you aren’t defective. They’re for the other side of the house."

Tooth hurts

A guy walks into a bar with his pet alligator, puts the gator up on the bar, and faces the patrons. "If I open this alligator’s mouth and place my genitals inside, leave ’em there for five minutes, then remove my unit unscathed, will each of you buy me a drink?"

The crowd murmurs its approval, so he gets up on the bar, drops his pants, and places his privates in the alligator’s open mouth. The gator then closes its mouth as the crowd gasps.
After five minutes, the man grabs a beer bottle and raps the alligator hard on the top of its head. The gator opens its mouth and the man removes his genitals—unscathed, as promised. The crowd cheers, and the first of his free drinks is delivered.

"Anyone else have the guts to give it a try?" the man dares the crowd.
After a few seconds, a blonde woman timidly speaks up. "I’ll do it, but no hitting me on the head with the bottle."

New color

Did you hear about the new paint color that’s coming out?

It’s called blonde.

It’s not very bright, but it spreads easy

Fatal Attraction

A blonde who suspects her boyfriend of cheating on her goes out and buys a gun. She goes to his apartment unexpectedly, opens the door, and, sure enough, finds him naked in the arms of a redhead. Well, now she’s angry. She opens her purse and takes out the gun. But as she does so, she is overcome with grief and points the gun at her own head.

The boyfriend yells, "No, honey, don’t do it."

"Shut up," she says. "You’re next."

Blonde Arguing Tracks

Three blondes were walking in the forest one day. They saw a set of tracks and started arguing over what kind of tracks they were.

The first blonde said, "I think they’re deer tracks!"

The second blonde said, "I think they’re dog tracks!"

The third blonde said, "Well, I think they’re cow tracks!"

They were still arguing when the train hit them.