A man with a winking problem applies for a position as a traveling salesman and goes in for an interview.
“Looking at your résumé, I can see that you’re more than qualified,” says the interviewer. “Unfortunately, we can’t have our sales reps constantly winking at customers, so we can’t hire you.”
“But wait,” says the man. “If I take two aspirin, I stop winking.”
“Then show me,” replies the interviewer.
So the guy reaches into his pants pocket and pulls out a pile of condoms in all different shapes, sizes, and colors before finally finding a packet of aspirin. He pops the pills and immediately stops winking.
“It’s great you stopped winking,” says the interviewer, “but we can’t have our salesmen womanizing all over the country.”
“What do you mean?” asks the man. “I’m happily married.”
“How do you explain all the condoms?” asks the interviewer.
“Oh, that,” sighs the man. “Have you ever walked into a pharmacy, winking, and asked for aspirin?”
Selasa, 31 Juli 2007
A Blonde Goes On Who Wants To Be A Millionaire
Regis: “Barbara, you’ve done very well so far - $500,000 and one lifeline left — phone a friend.
The next question will give you the top prize of One Million dollars if you get it right … but if you get it wrong you will drop back to $32,000 — are you ready?”
Barbara: “Sure, I’ll have a go!”
Regis: “Which of the following birds does not build it’s own nest?
Is it……..
A-Robin
B-Sparrow
C-Cuckoo
D-Thrush
Remember Barbara its worth 1 Million dollars.”
“I think I know who it..but I’m not 100%…
No, I haven’t got a clue. I’d like to phone a friend Regis, just to be sure.
Regis: “Yes, who, Barbara, do you want to phone?
Barbara: “I’ll phone my friend Maggie back home in Birmingham.”
(ringing)
Maggie (also a blonde): “Hello…”
Regis: “Hello Maggie, its Regis here from Who Wants to be a Millionaire-I have Barbara here and she is doing really well on $500,000, but needs your help to be a Million.
The next voice you hear will be Barbara’s and she’ll read you the question.
There are 4 possible answers and 1 correct answer and you have 30 seconds to answer — fire away Barbara.”
Barbara: “Maggie, which of the following birds does not build it’s own nest? Is it:
A-Robin
B-Sparrow
C-Cuckoo
D-Thrush”
Maggie: “Oh Gees, Barbara that’s simple…..It’s a Cuckoo.”
Barbara: “You think?”
Maggie: “I’m sure.”
Barbara: ” Thanks Maggie.” (hangs up)
Regis: “Well, do you want to stick on $500,000 or play on for the Million, Barbara?”
Barbara: “I want to play, I’ll go with C-Cuckoo”
Regis: “Is that your final answer?”
Barbara: “It is.”
Regis: “Are you confident?”
Barbara: “Yes fairly, Maggie’s a sound bet.”
Regis: “Barbara…..you had $500,000 and you said C-Cuckoo …you’re right! - You have just won ONE MILLION DOLLARS.
Here is your check. You have been a great contestant and a real gambler. Audience please put your hands together for Barbara.”
(clapping)
That night Barbara calls round to Maggie and brings her down to a local bar for a celebration drink and, as they are sipping their Champagne, Barbara turns to Maggie and asks “Tell me Maggie, How in God’s name did you know that it was the Cuckoo that does not build its own nest?
Maggie: “Listen Barbara, everybody knows that a Cuckoo lives in a clock.”
The next question will give you the top prize of One Million dollars if you get it right … but if you get it wrong you will drop back to $32,000 — are you ready?”
Barbara: “Sure, I’ll have a go!”
Regis: “Which of the following birds does not build it’s own nest?
Is it……..
A-Robin
B-Sparrow
C-Cuckoo
D-Thrush
Remember Barbara its worth 1 Million dollars.”
“I think I know who it..but I’m not 100%…
No, I haven’t got a clue. I’d like to phone a friend Regis, just to be sure.
Regis: “Yes, who, Barbara, do you want to phone?
Barbara: “I’ll phone my friend Maggie back home in Birmingham.”
(ringing)
Maggie (also a blonde): “Hello…”
Regis: “Hello Maggie, its Regis here from Who Wants to be a Millionaire-I have Barbara here and she is doing really well on $500,000, but needs your help to be a Million.
The next voice you hear will be Barbara’s and she’ll read you the question.
There are 4 possible answers and 1 correct answer and you have 30 seconds to answer — fire away Barbara.”
Barbara: “Maggie, which of the following birds does not build it’s own nest? Is it:
A-Robin
B-Sparrow
C-Cuckoo
D-Thrush”
Maggie: “Oh Gees, Barbara that’s simple…..It’s a Cuckoo.”
Barbara: “You think?”
Maggie: “I’m sure.”
Barbara: ” Thanks Maggie.” (hangs up)
Regis: “Well, do you want to stick on $500,000 or play on for the Million, Barbara?”
Barbara: “I want to play, I’ll go with C-Cuckoo”
Regis: “Is that your final answer?”
Barbara: “It is.”
Regis: “Are you confident?”
Barbara: “Yes fairly, Maggie’s a sound bet.”
Regis: “Barbara…..you had $500,000 and you said C-Cuckoo …you’re right! - You have just won ONE MILLION DOLLARS.
Here is your check. You have been a great contestant and a real gambler. Audience please put your hands together for Barbara.”
(clapping)
That night Barbara calls round to Maggie and brings her down to a local bar for a celebration drink and, as they are sipping their Champagne, Barbara turns to Maggie and asks “Tell me Maggie, How in God’s name did you know that it was the Cuckoo that does not build its own nest?
Maggie: “Listen Barbara, everybody knows that a Cuckoo lives in a clock.”
Famous Quotes : Homer Simpson III
# “I want to shake off the dust of this one-horse town. I want
to explore the world. I want to watch TV in a different time zone.
I want to visit strange, exotic malls…I want to live, Marge! Won’t
you let me live_?”
# “I’ve always wondered if there was a god. And now I know
there is — and it’s me.”
# “Lisa honey, are you saying you’re never going to eat any
animal again? What about bacon?”
# “All normal people love meat. If I went to a barbeque and
there was no meat, I would say ‘Yo Goober! Where’s the meat!?’.
I’m trying to impress people here Lisa. You don’t win friends with
salad.”
# ”To Start Press Any Key”. Where’s the ANY key?
# “You can’t keep blaming yourself. Just blame yourself once,
and move on.”
# “Now, son, you don’t want to drink beer. That’s for daddies
and kids with fake IDs.”
# “English - Who needs that? I’m never going to England!”
# “I think Mr. Smithers picked me for my motivational skills.
Everyone always says they have to work twice as hard when I’m around!”
# “Go ahead and play the blues if it’ll make you happy.”
# “I have feelings too - like ”My stomach hurts” or ”I’m
going crazy!”
to explore the world. I want to watch TV in a different time zone.
I want to visit strange, exotic malls…I want to live, Marge! Won’t
you let me live_?”
# “I’ve always wondered if there was a god. And now I know
there is — and it’s me.”
# “Lisa honey, are you saying you’re never going to eat any
animal again? What about bacon?”
# “All normal people love meat. If I went to a barbeque and
there was no meat, I would say ‘Yo Goober! Where’s the meat!?’.
I’m trying to impress people here Lisa. You don’t win friends with
salad.”
# ”To Start Press Any Key”. Where’s the ANY key?
# “You can’t keep blaming yourself. Just blame yourself once,
and move on.”
# “Now, son, you don’t want to drink beer. That’s for daddies
and kids with fake IDs.”
# “English - Who needs that? I’m never going to England!”
# “I think Mr. Smithers picked me for my motivational skills.
Everyone always says they have to work twice as hard when I’m around!”
# “Go ahead and play the blues if it’ll make you happy.”
# “I have feelings too - like ”My stomach hurts” or ”I’m
going crazy!”
Famous Quotes : Homer Simpson II
# “Marge, there’s an empty spot I’ve always had inside me.
I tried to fill it with family, religion, community service, but
those were dead ends! I think this chair is the answer.”
# “I’m not a bad guy! I work hard, and I love my kids. So
why should I spend half my Sunday hearing about how I’m going to
Hell?”
# “When it comes to compliments, women are ravenous blood-sucking
monsters always want’n more… more… MORE! And if you give it
to them, you’ll get plenty back in return.”
# “If something goes wrong at the plant, blame the guy who
can’t speak English.”
# “Kids, kids. I’m not going to die. That only happens to bad
people.”
# “Marge, I’m going to miss you so much. And it’s not just
the sex. It’s also the food preparation.”
# “Ah, TV respects me. It laughs with me, not at me!”
# “Marge, I agree with you — in theory. In theory, communism
works. Intheory.”
# “You think I don’t want to? It’s those TV networks, Marge:
they won’t let me. One quality show after another, each one fresher
and more brilliant than the last. If they only stumbled once, just
gave us thirty minutes to ourselves, but they won’t! They won’t
let me live!”
# “Television! Teacher, mother, secret lover.”
I tried to fill it with family, religion, community service, but
those were dead ends! I think this chair is the answer.”
# “I’m not a bad guy! I work hard, and I love my kids. So
why should I spend half my Sunday hearing about how I’m going to
Hell?”
# “When it comes to compliments, women are ravenous blood-sucking
monsters always want’n more… more… MORE! And if you give it
to them, you’ll get plenty back in return.”
# “If something goes wrong at the plant, blame the guy who
can’t speak English.”
# “Kids, kids. I’m not going to die. That only happens to bad
people.”
# “Marge, I’m going to miss you so much. And it’s not just
the sex. It’s also the food preparation.”
# “Ah, TV respects me. It laughs with me, not at me!”
# “Marge, I agree with you — in theory. In theory, communism
works. Intheory.”
# “You think I don’t want to? It’s those TV networks, Marge:
they won’t let me. One quality show after another, each one fresher
and more brilliant than the last. If they only stumbled once, just
gave us thirty minutes to ourselves, but they won’t! They won’t
let me live!”
# “Television! Teacher, mother, secret lover.”
Famous Quotes : Homer Simpson I
# “Let us all bask in television’s warm glowing warming glow.”
# “Beer. Now there’s a temporary solution.”
# “And Lord, we are especially thankful for nuclear power,
the cleanest, safest energy source there is. Except for solar, which
is just a pipe dream.”
# “Because sometimes the only way you can feel good Simpsons
brain about yourself is by making someone else look bad. And I’m
tired of making other people feel good about themselves!”
# “Ah, good ol’ trustworthy beer. My love for you will never
die.”
# “I want to share something with you: The three little sentences
that will get you through life. Number 1: Cover for me. Number 2:
Oh, good idea, Boss! Number 3: It was like that when I got here.”
# “Quiet you kids. If I hear one more word, Bart doesn’t get
to watch cartoons, and Lisa doesn’t get to go to college.”
# “Don’t you ever, EVER talk that way about television.”
# “Your mother has this crazy idea that gambling is wrong.
Even though they say it’s okay in the bible.”
# “No matter how good you are at something, there’s always
about a million people better than you.”
# “Beer. Now there’s a temporary solution.”
# “And Lord, we are especially thankful for nuclear power,
the cleanest, safest energy source there is. Except for solar, which
is just a pipe dream.”
# “Because sometimes the only way you can feel good Simpsons
brain about yourself is by making someone else look bad. And I’m
tired of making other people feel good about themselves!”
# “Ah, good ol’ trustworthy beer. My love for you will never
die.”
# “I want to share something with you: The three little sentences
that will get you through life. Number 1: Cover for me. Number 2:
Oh, good idea, Boss! Number 3: It was like that when I got here.”
# “Quiet you kids. If I hear one more word, Bart doesn’t get
to watch cartoons, and Lisa doesn’t get to go to college.”
# “Don’t you ever, EVER talk that way about television.”
# “Your mother has this crazy idea that gambling is wrong.
Even though they say it’s okay in the bible.”
# “No matter how good you are at something, there’s always
about a million people better than you.”
Famous Quotes : Vice-Presidents of the United States
I want to show you an optimistic sign that things are beginning to turn around.
— Vice President Dan Quayle trying to convince reporters that the economy was doing better because a Burger King had a “now hiring” sign in the window. He was campaigning for re-election in Ontario, CA, 1/17/92 (reported in Esquire, 8/92).
— Vice President Dan Quayle trying to convince reporters that the economy was doing better because a Burger King had a “now hiring” sign in the window. He was campaigning for re-election in Ontario, CA, 1/17/92 (reported in Esquire, 8/92).
Bahaya Nasi Beras
Hasil research yang baru saja dilakukan membuktikan bahwa makan nasi ternyata tidak baik bagi kita.
Buktinya :
1. NASI MENYEBABKAN KECANDUAN. Responden kami yang tidak makan nasi selama sehari saja akan kelaparan dan merasa sangat ingin makan nasi lagi.
2. SETENGAH dari seluruh siswa Indonesia yang makan nasi nilainya ada di bawah rata-rata kelas.
3. Suku-suku pada zaman batu yang tidak pernah makan nasi terbukti TIDAK PERNAH mengidap tumor, Alzheimer, osteoporosis, ataupun Parkinson.
4. Dokter melarang bayi yang baru lahir untuk makan nasi. Hal ini menjadi bukti bahwa nasi punya dampak berbahaya yang sudah dibuktikan oleh ilmu kedokteran.
5. Nasi yang kering biasa dimakan oleh ayam. Nah, sekarang anda perlu curiga dari mana flu burung berasal.
6. Jumlah pemakan nasi di Indonesia jauh lebih banyak dibandingkan dengan jumlah pemakan nasi di negara maju. Ini mungkin salah satu penyebab keterbelakangan pada negara ini.
7. Di warung-warung, biasanya KULI makan nasi dalam jumlah lebih banyak daripada kaum eksekutif. Hal ini membuktikan bahwa makan nasi MENURUNKAN kemampuan ekonomi seseorang.
9. Makan nasi dapat menyebabkan rasa haus alias MENYERAP air. Padahal tubuh kita sebagian besar terdiri dari air.
10. Dalam kondisi tertentu, makan nasi MENINGKATKAN resiko kematian. Misalnya makan nasi sambil menyetir mobil.
11. Pengidap DIABETES lebih dianjurkan makan kentang daripada nasi. Berarti nasi kurang baik bagi kesehatan.
12. Makan nasi menyebabkan keinginan mengkonsumsi sayur dan lauk. Misalnya nasi bandeng (nasi + bandeng goreng), nasi kucing (nasi + kucing goreng), dsb. Hal ini bisa menyebabkan obesitas.
13. Nasi mengandung ZAT BESI yang konfigurasi elektron terluarnya 4s2. Zat lain yang elektron terluarnya 4 adalah Racun ARSENIK (4p3), Batu batere TITANIUM (4s2), dan racun yang menyerang Superman yaitu KRIPTON (4p6). Ini mengindikasikan bahwa nasi punya kesamaan dengan zat-zat berbahaya lainnya.
15. Nasi DIMASAK dalam suhu lebih dari 100 derajat Celsius. Itu panas yang cukup untuk membunuh orang.
16. Anda pasti akan melihat ke atas lagi untuk membuktikan No. 8 dan No. 14 Tidak ada.
Buktinya :
1. NASI MENYEBABKAN KECANDUAN. Responden kami yang tidak makan nasi selama sehari saja akan kelaparan dan merasa sangat ingin makan nasi lagi.
2. SETENGAH dari seluruh siswa Indonesia yang makan nasi nilainya ada di bawah rata-rata kelas.
3. Suku-suku pada zaman batu yang tidak pernah makan nasi terbukti TIDAK PERNAH mengidap tumor, Alzheimer, osteoporosis, ataupun Parkinson.
4. Dokter melarang bayi yang baru lahir untuk makan nasi. Hal ini menjadi bukti bahwa nasi punya dampak berbahaya yang sudah dibuktikan oleh ilmu kedokteran.
5. Nasi yang kering biasa dimakan oleh ayam. Nah, sekarang anda perlu curiga dari mana flu burung berasal.
6. Jumlah pemakan nasi di Indonesia jauh lebih banyak dibandingkan dengan jumlah pemakan nasi di negara maju. Ini mungkin salah satu penyebab keterbelakangan pada negara ini.
7. Di warung-warung, biasanya KULI makan nasi dalam jumlah lebih banyak daripada kaum eksekutif. Hal ini membuktikan bahwa makan nasi MENURUNKAN kemampuan ekonomi seseorang.
9. Makan nasi dapat menyebabkan rasa haus alias MENYERAP air. Padahal tubuh kita sebagian besar terdiri dari air.
10. Dalam kondisi tertentu, makan nasi MENINGKATKAN resiko kematian. Misalnya makan nasi sambil menyetir mobil.
11. Pengidap DIABETES lebih dianjurkan makan kentang daripada nasi. Berarti nasi kurang baik bagi kesehatan.
12. Makan nasi menyebabkan keinginan mengkonsumsi sayur dan lauk. Misalnya nasi bandeng (nasi + bandeng goreng), nasi kucing (nasi + kucing goreng), dsb. Hal ini bisa menyebabkan obesitas.
13. Nasi mengandung ZAT BESI yang konfigurasi elektron terluarnya 4s2. Zat lain yang elektron terluarnya 4 adalah Racun ARSENIK (4p3), Batu batere TITANIUM (4s2), dan racun yang menyerang Superman yaitu KRIPTON (4p6). Ini mengindikasikan bahwa nasi punya kesamaan dengan zat-zat berbahaya lainnya.
15. Nasi DIMASAK dalam suhu lebih dari 100 derajat Celsius. Itu panas yang cukup untuk membunuh orang.
16. Anda pasti akan melihat ke atas lagi untuk membuktikan No. 8 dan No. 14 Tidak ada.
Orang paling sial
Di dunia ini mungkin banyak orang sial tapi orang yang paling sial adalah orang yang lahirnya di"Balikpapan",trus gedenya di "Palu" dan matinya di "Sorong"
"ss..su..ddaah...tterr..llam..bbat..!"
Ada seorang pria yang menderita gagap yang sangat parah sekali, sehingga istrinya sangat merasa terganggu dengan kegagapannya itu. Sampai akhirnya si istri memberi saran untuk segera pergi ke dokter.
Dokter : "ada yang bisa saya bantu..?"
Pasien: "..be..ggi..ni ..ddok..ss.. saya ..ppu..nya ..penn..nyakit..gga..gap ddok..
Dokter:" OK.., mari saya periksa.."
Setelah diperiksa si Dokter mengambil kesimpulan bahwa penyakit gagapnya itu dikarenakan si pasien mempunyai "ANU" yang sangat panjang, sehingga si dokter harus memotongnya menjadi lebih pendek.Si pasien dengan berat hati menuruti nasihat sang dokter.
Setelah dipotong anunya oleh sang dokter si pasien pun berbicara dengan lancar dan tidak gagap sama sekali,tetapi sang istri merasa ada yang kehilangan sejak anu suaminya dipotong. Kemudian dia menyuruh suaminya untuk kembali lagi ke dokter tersebut, supaya disambungkan kembali (prinsip si istri biar gagap yang penting panjang..)Akhirnya dia menemui kembali sang dokter.
Pasien:"begini Dok, semenjak anu saya di potong,istri saya merasa ada yang hilang pada diri saya,dan marah melulu sama saya, jadi kalo bisa anu saya disambung lagi dok, biarpun saya gagap kembali.."
Dokter :"..mma..aaf..,ss..su..ddaah...tterr..llam..bbat..!"
Dokter : "ada yang bisa saya bantu..?"
Pasien: "..be..ggi..ni ..ddok..ss.. saya ..ppu..nya ..penn..nyakit..gga..gap ddok..
Dokter:" OK.., mari saya periksa.."
Setelah diperiksa si Dokter mengambil kesimpulan bahwa penyakit gagapnya itu dikarenakan si pasien mempunyai "ANU" yang sangat panjang, sehingga si dokter harus memotongnya menjadi lebih pendek.Si pasien dengan berat hati menuruti nasihat sang dokter.
Setelah dipotong anunya oleh sang dokter si pasien pun berbicara dengan lancar dan tidak gagap sama sekali,tetapi sang istri merasa ada yang kehilangan sejak anu suaminya dipotong. Kemudian dia menyuruh suaminya untuk kembali lagi ke dokter tersebut, supaya disambungkan kembali (prinsip si istri biar gagap yang penting panjang..)Akhirnya dia menemui kembali sang dokter.
Pasien:"begini Dok, semenjak anu saya di potong,istri saya merasa ada yang hilang pada diri saya,dan marah melulu sama saya, jadi kalo bisa anu saya disambung lagi dok, biarpun saya gagap kembali.."
Dokter :"..mma..aaf..,ss..su..ddaah...tterr..llam..bbat..!"
Disebuah Angkot
Suatu hari ada dua orang penumpang suami istri naik angkot, saat itu sang suami membawa sekeranjang telur. Tak lama kemudian banyak penumpang yang naik sehingga duduknya berdesak - desakkan, maka sang suami dengan spontan dan keras mengatakan pada sang istri "Bu, angkatlah kakimu, biar kumasukkan telurku ".
Kamis, 26 Juli 2007
Jumat, 20 Juli 2007
Selasa, 17 Juli 2007
Kalau Banci Jadi Pramugari
SFX: suara "bing" di cabin pesawat
male sedikit ke female2an VO:
Ledis en jentelmen, bekudis tempel semen, sesuai peraturan penerbangan,
jadi eike mawar kasi liat cara pake itu sabuk yang ada di pinggang yey,
baju buat mengapung-apung, dan masker oksigen dikala napas sesek.
biar yey nantinya bisa selamet, coba sini diliat dulu cara pasang itu
sabuk
yang melilit di pinggang yey, cara ngunci biar gak gampang lepas,
ngencengin, dan ngelepasinnya.
baju ngapung ada di bawah kursi yang yey dudukin, jangan dipake kecuali
nanti mas kapiten ngajak berenang bareng.
eit jangan lupa, itu barang jangan yey pindah-pindahin yaa, apalagi
dibawa
pulang
buat pajangan salon.
yang ketauan sama eike, bakalan ditabok kanan kiri
atas bawah depan, belakang deh ih...
cara make'nya, itu baju dikalungin di leher yey, ati ati kekencengan
tar gak bisa napas. makanya kudu ati-ati deh yah.
biar bisa ngapung, yey tarik itu pencetan warna merah delima,
atau yey tiup itu pipa nya. kalo nanti keluar lewat jendela darurat,
itu baju apung dikembangin pas di luar aja deh, nanti mampet di
jendela karena gak muat.
…aihh.. ampe kritiing tangan eike narikin pencetannya… keras
amirr..
gimana sih nih..
eh, asal yey semua pada tau ya, ini pesawat ada dua pintu darurat di
depan,
ada dua di belakang, dan ada dua lagi jendela darurat di tengah-tengah.
jadi
keluarnya jangan rebutan ya.
kalo nanti tiba-tiba napas sesek dan bukan karena sabuk yang di
pinggang
kekencengan
bukan pula karena salah masang pelampung,
masker oksigen bakalan nongol dari atas kepala yey, tarik aje dah trus
napas
kayak biasa.
kalo ada anak kecil, yey yey yang ude tuwir mesti nolongin anaknya dulu
baru yey pake sendiri.
kartu gambar biar selamet ada di kantong kursi di depan yey duduk,
silakan dibaca dan dihayati dengan seksama yaaah..
endang sukamti cintya lamusu, terimakasi God blesss yuuu... yiuuukkk..
male sedikit ke female2an VO:
Ledis en jentelmen, bekudis tempel semen, sesuai peraturan penerbangan,
jadi eike mawar kasi liat cara pake itu sabuk yang ada di pinggang yey,
baju buat mengapung-apung, dan masker oksigen dikala napas sesek.
biar yey nantinya bisa selamet, coba sini diliat dulu cara pasang itu
sabuk
yang melilit di pinggang yey, cara ngunci biar gak gampang lepas,
ngencengin, dan ngelepasinnya.
baju ngapung ada di bawah kursi yang yey dudukin, jangan dipake kecuali
nanti mas kapiten ngajak berenang bareng.
eit jangan lupa, itu barang jangan yey pindah-pindahin yaa, apalagi
dibawa
pulang
buat pajangan salon.
yang ketauan sama eike, bakalan ditabok kanan kiri
atas bawah depan, belakang deh ih...
cara make'nya, itu baju dikalungin di leher yey, ati ati kekencengan
tar gak bisa napas. makanya kudu ati-ati deh yah.
biar bisa ngapung, yey tarik itu pencetan warna merah delima,
atau yey tiup itu pipa nya. kalo nanti keluar lewat jendela darurat,
itu baju apung dikembangin pas di luar aja deh, nanti mampet di
jendela karena gak muat.
…aihh.. ampe kritiing tangan eike narikin pencetannya… keras
amirr..
gimana sih nih..
eh, asal yey semua pada tau ya, ini pesawat ada dua pintu darurat di
depan,
ada dua di belakang, dan ada dua lagi jendela darurat di tengah-tengah.
jadi
keluarnya jangan rebutan ya.
kalo nanti tiba-tiba napas sesek dan bukan karena sabuk yang di
pinggang
kekencengan
bukan pula karena salah masang pelampung,
masker oksigen bakalan nongol dari atas kepala yey, tarik aje dah trus
napas
kayak biasa.
kalo ada anak kecil, yey yey yang ude tuwir mesti nolongin anaknya dulu
baru yey pake sendiri.
kartu gambar biar selamet ada di kantong kursi di depan yey duduk,
silakan dibaca dan dihayati dengan seksama yaaah..
endang sukamti cintya lamusu, terimakasi God blesss yuuu... yiuuukkk..
Sabtu, 14 Juli 2007
The Blonde Got mail
A man was in his front yard mowing grass when his attractive blond female neighbor came out of the house and went straight to the mailbox. She opened it then slammed it shut and stormed back into the house. A little later she came out of her house again, went to the mailbox and again opened it, and slammed it shut again. Angrily, back into the house she went.
As the man was getting ready to edge the lawn, she came out again, marched to the mailbox, opened it and then slammed it closed harder than ever.
Puzzled by her actions the man asked her, “Is something wrong?”
To which she replied, “There certainly is!”
My stupid computer keeps saying, “You’ve got mail!”
As the man was getting ready to edge the lawn, she came out again, marched to the mailbox, opened it and then slammed it closed harder than ever.
Puzzled by her actions the man asked her, “Is something wrong?”
To which she replied, “There certainly is!”
My stupid computer keeps saying, “You’ve got mail!”
Hammerheads
Two blondes are working on a house. One of them, who’s nailing down siding, has been reaching into her pouch, pulling out a nail, and either tossing it over her shoulder or nailing it in. The second blonde, figuring this was worth looking into, asks, "Hey—how come you’re throwing half the nails over your shoulder?"
The first blonde explains, "If I pull a nail out of my pouch and it’s pointed toward me, I throw it away because it’s defective. If it’s pointed toward the house, then I nail it in."
"You moron!" the second blonde yells. "The nails pointed toward you aren’t defective. They’re for the other side of the house."
The first blonde explains, "If I pull a nail out of my pouch and it’s pointed toward me, I throw it away because it’s defective. If it’s pointed toward the house, then I nail it in."
"You moron!" the second blonde yells. "The nails pointed toward you aren’t defective. They’re for the other side of the house."
Tooth hurts
A guy walks into a bar with his pet alligator, puts the gator up on the bar, and faces the patrons. "If I open this alligator’s mouth and place my genitals inside, leave ’em there for five minutes, then remove my unit unscathed, will each of you buy me a drink?"
The crowd murmurs its approval, so he gets up on the bar, drops his pants, and places his privates in the alligator’s open mouth. The gator then closes its mouth as the crowd gasps.
After five minutes, the man grabs a beer bottle and raps the alligator hard on the top of its head. The gator opens its mouth and the man removes his genitals—unscathed, as promised. The crowd cheers, and the first of his free drinks is delivered.
"Anyone else have the guts to give it a try?" the man dares the crowd.
After a few seconds, a blonde woman timidly speaks up. "I’ll do it, but no hitting me on the head with the bottle."
The crowd murmurs its approval, so he gets up on the bar, drops his pants, and places his privates in the alligator’s open mouth. The gator then closes its mouth as the crowd gasps.
After five minutes, the man grabs a beer bottle and raps the alligator hard on the top of its head. The gator opens its mouth and the man removes his genitals—unscathed, as promised. The crowd cheers, and the first of his free drinks is delivered.
"Anyone else have the guts to give it a try?" the man dares the crowd.
After a few seconds, a blonde woman timidly speaks up. "I’ll do it, but no hitting me on the head with the bottle."
New color
Did you hear about the new paint color that’s coming out?
It’s called blonde.
It’s not very bright, but it spreads easy
It’s called blonde.
It’s not very bright, but it spreads easy
Fatal Attraction
A blonde who suspects her boyfriend of cheating on her goes out and buys a gun. She goes to his apartment unexpectedly, opens the door, and, sure enough, finds him naked in the arms of a redhead. Well, now she’s angry. She opens her purse and takes out the gun. But as she does so, she is overcome with grief and points the gun at her own head.
The boyfriend yells, "No, honey, don’t do it."
"Shut up," she says. "You’re next."
The boyfriend yells, "No, honey, don’t do it."
"Shut up," she says. "You’re next."
Blonde Arguing Tracks
Three blondes were walking in the forest one day. They saw a set of tracks and started arguing over what kind of tracks they were.
The first blonde said, "I think they’re deer tracks!"
The second blonde said, "I think they’re dog tracks!"
The third blonde said, "Well, I think they’re cow tracks!"
They were still arguing when the train hit them.
The first blonde said, "I think they’re deer tracks!"
The second blonde said, "I think they’re dog tracks!"
The third blonde said, "Well, I think they’re cow tracks!"
They were still arguing when the train hit them.
Langganan:
Postingan (Atom)
